funny how

i dont feel any jubilation or excitement

anymore

when i go out with them.

wednesday nights or not.

after a while

i sat there and stared out.

and thought,

was i bored of the familiar

or just

having my mind on something else.

maybe both.

i wanna go away

to somewhere

alone.

where i didnt know anyone

or need to do anything.

listen to a sad song

and sip juice

on a deck chair

on a sun kissed beach.

i dont think.

ill see you

for another year.

till then

i dont wanna

speak or see no one.

i wanna go home

but i dont feel like going home.

i want to stay here

but nothings holding me back.