hmm.

now

this is a little pricky

i should just go back to my life.

slothing around in the afternoon

watching teevee

eating ice cream

falling asleep while pretending to read the papers.

i think

i needa see my friends more,

whatever that is left of the pathetic lot.

coz im starting to feel

real alone again.

i should just read

whatever nonsense magazines, books and the cute little momento notebooks people gave me,

and start imagining things and recalling the old days.

i shouldnt think too much

about whats gonna happen

and speculate

and suspect

and formulate my own twisted theories,

though sometimes they can be scarily similar to reality,

the future hasnt always been my best of friends anyway.

i should just

return to my introspective

tragic lauding

lone self.

maybe then

it'd feel




more

like myself.

i hate the drastic change in mood and feelings

from the weekends to weekdays

and worse the uncertainty during the weekdays.

then comes the drought during the transition

from friday to saturday.

then will come the wait for monday to come.

and it repeats.



i need a stimulant in my days.


oh dont be silly.

i was killed quite some years ago

and i dont think ill be back so soon.

come on.

how is a person a person without a heart.

it's just a figure working on clockwork.

twist the key a few times to the left when the revolutions cease.

pl 5 managed to kick the heart back to thumping a few months back.

but it's gone into oblivion again.

hah hit me darling,

i refuse to feel hurt.

let's see what you can do about that




then again,

who'd care?