oh god.

i think i should get back to work

go back to camp

do something.

suddenly

i dont know what to do

with all these time that i have.

i start thinking again,

back to old times.

so much time now at hand

that i start to regain lost memories.

just a week ago,

i though ive become so numb

that everything is very much clockwork

and routine.

good in a way.

but it only took an old tv show

to evoke all emotions again.

i guess

im not that superhuman.

after all the long months

of hardening up,

all that was needed was just 10 mins

10 short mins

to open the gates once more.

now i winch.

and i feel like a wreck once again.


i like chocolate milk.

its nice and cold and milky.

especially with heaps of chocolate powder.

its good.


its sad

how your social circle

starts to shrink

and shrink

and shrink.

your success preceeds your name

but apparently at a cost.

you feel that you left yourself behind.

after 2 yrs,

you pick up exactly where you left off.

somehow

even from further back.

ive been enduring this

for more than years.

everytime it happens

i just sleep it away,

hoping the new day

would take it away.

but i just dont like the feeling

i cant stand it.

but i cant do anything about it.

i dont know what to do about it.

i dont know how to do it.

its annoying.

its ironic.

and i dont know where to get it out.

oh yes,

yes,

i feel the pain again.

thats good.

i thought i lost pain.

but thats bad too

cause its downright annoying me once more.

My tour

officially ended

at 2130hrs on 121209.

In fact

my NS life

is coming

very much to a close already.

BRAVO you have brought me far

and

2SIR

we are truely

SECOND TO NONE.