crescendo down.

it's back to home.

chinese moo year.

get fat season.

i want to rip open my ribs

tear out my heart

and throw it away.

maybe then

it'll be better.

be back on the eve

of cny eve.

im gonna be an ong bak.

i think of

lene

more and more these days.

ya and i dont deny it.

it has been what?

2 years since you abruptly appeared

and more than half a year

since i last saw you.

friends can make you

so happy,

yet make you realise

how miserable you are,

coz sometimes

you dont get to see those

whom you really want to see.

it's always the same.

writing in this blog

deep into the night.

but i like this blog.

gives me a sense

of self belonging.

my knee is hurting more and more.

crescendo is coming.

no peace for 19 days.

i wished

i had the power to make things happen.

i want to be the best

yet i dont want to work hard.

i want to catch the game

yet i dont know how to hunt.

i have so much passion

yet there is no way to express it.

life is full of ironies.

at this point of time

i really dont want to wake up.

i ran out of my beloved coffee hagen dazz.

so i have to make do with vanilla.

im so gonna go to sleep without brushing my teeth.

you know how

i always complain how ns cuts me off from the world?

i guess im just isolating myself.