i packed my bags and kissed my wife

headed for the army life.

i packed my bags and kissed my wife

in the early morning rain.

i told my son not to cry

but i had tears in my eyes.

i told my son not to cry

in the early morning rain.

okay

its not morning

nor is it raining

but ohwell

im going back.

ciao.

i have no idea

for how long

will i

be able

to keep this false calmness.

i cant

wait to burst

burst out of this shell.

it's so small

it's suffocating

and my iTOUCH

will only be delivered next week.

im no longer

a sierra warrior.

im now a bravo

newbie,

along with 15 others.

i guess

thats probably

the main thing

thats bugging me now.

i wouldnt mind

spending

a whole pro term in sierra

even if it was for INFANTRY.

but then again,

who would?

i'm really bored tonight.

i wished time would stop.

like REALLY REALLY stop.

okay better not.

that would mean

a longer time

till commission.

now the stakes have risen.

a higher probability of ooc

a higher probability of EXTRAS

like REALLY REALLY HIGHER

a VERY LIKELY possibility of negligible bookouts

like VERY VERY LIKELY

sometimes

i really hate it

when people

get to walk the easy route

but i on the other hand

have to FIGHT my way through

like REALLY FIGHT.

but in the end

bother of us reach the SAME destination.

like REALLY SAME DESTINATION.

fast forwardmy life man.

like REALLY.

GET IT MOVVVINGGGGG

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

i dont want to march on alone.

tonight

feels like

one of those

pre A levels-blues

kind of night.

where it's cold

and quiet

save for the music playing

in the back.

and you know

you have another pile

of notes to read,

and you cant sleep till it's done

and where you tell everyone

you're alright

but actually

you really want someone

to sit beside you

and tell you

"it's alright

ill be around, just if you need me".

those kind of nights.

but on the contrary,

you know that

you're really alone.

and that they will not know

how you are,

till you tell them.

but then again,

they may just be too busy themselves

to really care bout you.

yea.

those kind of nights.

have you ever had them?

one more week

left in sierra.

it has been

a love-hate relationship

with her.

but i guess

ultimately

i will be reluctant

to leave this place.

with a bar heavier

next week,

my shoulders

arms

legs

back

soul

and heart

will correspondingly weigh more.

for

i will be off

to another wing,

off to an infantry life.

it's a deep black hole.

but afterall

it's only gonna be 5 months

in training

and 2 years of my life.

you will watch me

commission

next march.

just you wait.

jcc upon my chest.

ref: july 20, sunday.

where's the big glorious aim

everyones talking about?

ans: maybe this is where it lies.

i've got a mountain to scale.

literally too.

september 2 already.

11 weeks in service term already.

3 more to go

till the end.

and then it's another 6 more months.

somehow life

isnt how it seemed it would be.

i'm just lingering

and floating where the wind carries me.

there's no adrenaline

anymore.

no satisfaction.

just accomodating to the demands of others.

it just feels like

a one man

world.