he said

there will be times

when the courage

in your heart

and in your soul

will diwndle,

but never

ever

ever

give up,

unless on grounds of strong morality.

i'm afraid now.

i'm worried now.

i'm feeling less than ordinary now.

where's the perk?

why ain't i

feeling inspired?

where am i going?

why are others getting scholarships

awards

going to imperial, yale

while ill be spending my time

at nus business

with some cheapo study award only.

why dont i feel

even a slight tinge of special-ness

and omph of being in ocs,

while others would die to get in?

how can i ever

fight on

with such a heavy heart?

i am really sick of talking to myself

all day long.

telling others

this will all be worth it

when i can't even convince myself.

i'm sick of the people

i have to face everyday,

act and smile

as if i need them.

lta selwyn said

there's always something

to learn everyday.

that journey has kinda stopped dead

in its tracks.

and then he said

greatness is born out of difficult times.

it's ironic how life is so easy

and mundane

and how much urge ive lost.

where am i heading?

where's the big great glorious aim

everyones talking about?

im not looking forward to that.

currently

i look forward to my new asics shoes

to be delivered

and using my new gillete fusion shaver.

its embarassing how low life has got

for me.

is there something wrong with me?

someone tell me

please.

i dont want to start another conversation

with myself.

i have never

missed

my friends

that much before.

i feel

very exhausted

today.

hopefully the coming week

will be better.

it was good

having to see

my friends again

yesterday,

and talk to those

whom i wanted to talk to so much.

there's still

a long long way ahead.

i will survive.

golf wing the best HOOYAH

fight on