im becoming

a junk food

junkie.

they lied

when they said

good guys finish last.

the sprint didnt even start.

i feel

such reckless emptiness.

nothing is able to address it.

am i looking

for something?

in the wrong place probably.

o' pretty lady,

wait for me, shall you?

a black rose.

it used to be red,

blue,

yellow

or maybe even pink.

the damage is done.

all it needs now

is collateral control.

oh.

four more weeks to prelims.

gp not counted.

2 more weeks till the end of school.

im feeling weak and nauseous already.

the day i close this blog

will be the day

i earn my liberation and freedom,

days devoid of hurt,

pain,

fatigue,

lethargy,

lust,

jealousy

and folly.

which may be never.

im cursed.

i woke up

to an unusual tune.

such long weekends

always make me glee with joy.

but today

i was sad.

sad.

sad.

sad.

im highly distracted

and highly unmotivated.

i guess

the dream ends here.

its back

to the fierce

world of fighting

jealousy

and heart breaks.

dreams can come true.

but i doubt

this one will.

such an obscure possibility

that the world

will spin the other way.

im not happy.

not at all.

and still have to

stduy for god damn prelims.

things are getting dirty

and sick.

im sad.

such is the life.

the unfathomable

and the non existent.