i dreamt of tan huizhen chiding me


she looked thinner though.


i was back in shorts


and white all over.


i dreamt of changlok


teaching the new kids what to do


in a room just beside ours


and fungmin was there beside me


along with the other kids with tan huizhen


going, " stop distracting the class esp those at the back!"


obviously refering to us.


apparently


i still hadnt come to terms


with the ghosts of yester year.


amazingly enough


i actually felt good to be back in shorts again


walking down the classroom aisle.


im a weird enough thing


most of the time


i have the utmost difficulty


trying to understand myself.


i contradict myself all the time


with all the incoherence.


it depends on the weather,


the time of the day


and the season.


thats why i can never break out


of the c range for gp.


im one confused fella.


as long as theres somethign to distract me


from the task at hand


ill feel that life aint so bad.


but most of the time,


those thoughts just stick with me


day and night


and i feel miserable.


oh my


but since we're gonna have dinner


at shangri-la tonite


i feel kinda relieved.


lets bet that


tonight


ill be all down and beaten again.


its a lockdown


im empty.





i dont feel like dancin'