december always seem to come so quickly.

in about another 12 hours and its bye bye to 2006

and hello 2007.

this year was a much peaceful year than previously

save for the start of the year

which was a total mess and chaos.

but those memories are so faint now,

well maybe its because ive not been getting enough sleep

at the right time.

i think ive been caught up with too much homework-ing

but you cant blame

time is so tight these days.

most of the time, especially at this time of the year,

where there is a change of the harvest cycle,

i feel rather restless and alone.

its as if im fighting all of this by myself.

the year passed real quickly.

swoosh and we're in jc

another swoosh and im moving on to hwachong,

leaving the golden flowerbed behind.

and another swoosh

we're at the end of the year.

rarrrrrr

this is a senseless post

and i havent finish the darn gp.

okay

i have made up my mind.

i shall go get my shin guards

if not a few more blows to my shin

will akin it to a broken matchstick.

waha

i cant tune my body clock back

im dead.

im still going to bed in the wee hours of the morning

and waking up only at mid day.

it's last week of the holidays already.

i dont feel renewed, refreshed

just a sick continuation of things.

hmmm

haish

has always been as such anyway.

just that next year will mark the end of many things.

___________________________________

my head's spinning again.

suffered a direct thrust to the throat

i think my adams apple shrunk

im sure it was a murder attempt.

ouch.

overstretched my tendon again.

two more bruises joined the club.

my body's in a wreck.

i need rest.

i dont think ill die any time soon.

damn

schools gonna reopen in a week's time.

_________________________________

there's so much blood boiling inside

that im numb to all wordly feelings.

kings die

and regimes change.

long gone were the days of

sparkle and awe.

the horse whip and horsekeepers are discarded

to make way for the olive laurel

and bowls of gruel.

the existence of the stablemen will soon be forgotten,

remembered only by an ageing generation

who may even be lost in the spirals of time.

we can lament

we must let out cries of protests

but when the king orders us west,

we will ride west

and when the northern wind blows,

we will sail along with it.

the sun will set and

roses will die,

change is nothing out of the ordinary.

i bet the dark abyss of time has seen many changes

and heartwrecks.

and now is the time for another.

ideality just took another beating.

but we will not despair,

for there will always be another route

for us to ride and sail and troop.

west it shall be,

when all the north, south and east

have been trekked.

hopefully

the king knows what hes doing.

Go RVNCC

embrace whatever the future may have for you

I have faith in us.

woke up at 4PM today


my days are getting shorter and shorter


and nights longer.


i dont feel like typing anymore.


its all getting aggressively plain

i dreamt of tan huizhen chiding me


she looked thinner though.


i was back in shorts


and white all over.


i dreamt of changlok


teaching the new kids what to do


in a room just beside ours


and fungmin was there beside me


along with the other kids with tan huizhen


going, " stop distracting the class esp those at the back!"


obviously refering to us.


apparently


i still hadnt come to terms


with the ghosts of yester year.


amazingly enough


i actually felt good to be back in shorts again


walking down the classroom aisle.


im a weird enough thing


most of the time


i have the utmost difficulty


trying to understand myself.


i contradict myself all the time


with all the incoherence.


it depends on the weather,


the time of the day


and the season.


thats why i can never break out


of the c range for gp.


im one confused fella.


as long as theres somethign to distract me


from the task at hand


ill feel that life aint so bad.


but most of the time,


those thoughts just stick with me


day and night


and i feel miserable.


oh my


but since we're gonna have dinner


at shangri-la tonite


i feel kinda relieved.


lets bet that


tonight


ill be all down and beaten again.


its a lockdown


im empty.





i dont feel like dancin'

its the time of the day again


where i retreat


into my own quiet abode


and where the mosquitoes keep attacking me O.0.


yushu took training yesterday


on wednesday rather.


i guess he killed the kids


with all his formidable


"leg exercises".


judging from the fact tt training tmr/later is cancelled


coz no one is able to turn up


hahaha


rocks siaA


oh god


its a vicious cycle


its retribution


imsure im sureeee


-sigh-


im gonna get myself unhooked


shall go out more


do more of my hmwk


train more


go for ncc more


go run more


and eat less.


im not gonna step in


for it will be a forbidden


and god forsaken move


where nothing will sway


save for the dust that will fly with the trotter of hooves.


im messed up


all over again.


haish


shall go hunt for nice xmas postcards tmr


and my mama's ham


gimme ur add if u want oneeeee.


hmmm


im moo man


nothings gonna beat me down


even if something does


ill give it hell before i die.


haish


on the other hand


im already dwon on the ground.


and the bell goes ding ding.





i need a pain killer for the broken skull

yay


oh my oh my


i got black


red rather


a little la


hahahaa


yay.


oh my


we went for meeting then kbox on sat


oh my


it was the longest 6 hrs of my life


hahaa


but it was alright


seeing others get high and having fun


u cnt help but get into the mood urself.


i killed all the peanuts though.


hoho


yay hail shanghai peeps


yay training tmr again


hoho


im loving it man


rarrrR


the hmwks killing me though


haish


-sobs-


on a happier note


i got my new phone!!


waha


when the rides get bumpy and rough


just believe that


eventually


we will all pull through.


i will fight alongside those


who had fought along with me,


will you?


im a soldier of the old.





moo man left his milk here___________

im a free man


i live by no rules


i get carried away by the wind


and end up wherever it takes me to.


dont even try to bog me down.








i feel better already.


slightly.


but something at the back


of my head


is telling me


to go get it.


coz "if you want it,


then go get it."


that's what i used to tell people.


now


i dont even dare think of it.


________________________________

i wonder


ten years down the road


will we still remember what we did in school


the childish pranks


the skipping of lectures


the scolding of cadets


the people who pass you by everyday


and the people who sat beside you everyday trying to copy your homework.


will we remember our class


our ccas


our teachers


the OCIP SHANGHAI PEOPLE


the leaky urinals


the creaky classbenches?


would we even bother to pause and think for awhile


what have those people who touched our lives become of?


the past is not so dead after all


if we bother to stop and look.


oh well


on the sidelines,


i wanna be an ice cream man next time


waha

why must people make things all so complicated. wouldnt it be nice if everything was simple, innocent and absolutely no brainer? well on the other hand, then people will start to make things complex and hard.

hmmm apparently im a very incoherent and votatile person. fragments of ideas and after thoughts just swarm me endlessly. or maybe its just the night and the cold wind thats making us all mesed up. hahaa one day ill be so lost in thoughts that ill live everyday as if a dream.

somethings caught me again. its that bu gan luo huo and zi wo cui mian mentality thats making me spin. with so many wants, theres hardly a time that we're ever satisfied.

back to reality. hope i dint kill the kids today. its not even half the power yet, just for some novelty. hmmm. this is getting no where so i shall go off to sleep.

past few days have been a total waste of time


basically did nothing


and my room is all messy again


sick of all the homework that is undone


ahhhhhhHHHH


saveee meeee


anyways


hahaa


had shanghai mass convo for the past two nites


lol


exciting man


hahahaa


insane maniacs


rox man


officially out of action again


record breaking second injury in a year


amongst the many blue blacks and sprains and grazes


due to utter stupidity


smashed some tissue in the in step


no one could get any dumber than this.


rarrrr


shall go and be a useful person now


and do some work


die laRR


i feel screwed


rarrrr


and its so hot.


weeee


shanghai~

damned


3 dec already


i should stop waiting


and start doing my hmwk


raaaaaaRRR


sickening


rarrrrr


aiya


my foots swollen again


immobilised.


3.44 am


hvnt stayed up till so late for a long time


usually at these ungodly hours


ill be spammed with rocky waves of nostalgia


and nausea


today


i feel different


i feel


unleashed.


save for the fear of over piling hmwk


okay


the same feeling is coming now.


normally i get frustrated by stuff that i cant solve


or have been bugging me for real long.


i get pissed at little things too


like how bad my spelling is


and how trash-y my england has become.


sometimes i get angry for not ironing my uniform


damn


i think im retarded.


maybe i should really drop my pants and run ard naked.


i dont know


this year hadnt been an insane year as i had thought it would be


oh well


it was kinda messy at the start


getting into the wrong place


getting hooked up with wrong people, cca and crap


i staunchly believed that ren ding sheng tian


that we are masters of our own destiny


all so till times of desperation and despair


then id wish that miracles will happen


im a confusing and contraversial thing.


not thinking straight any more.


shanghai.


yay.

hahahaa


went to NTC today


got whacked big time


one lump here


a few sprains there


im gonna be out of action for sometime


but who cares


im loVinG iT!


hahaa


they say the first step to knowing a person


is to trust that person


i cant


i dont bear my heart that easily


it takes time


i guess


i miss the good old days at shAngHAi