everyone wants to be a hero


but when we all try so hard


chances are


we all lose.


clearly


my body clock has been distorted


so much that


nights have become days


and days are nights.


ive taken a beaten from this.


i lose.


rushing through things last minute


and begging for clemency


aint my style


and goes to show how unprepared we are.


how uncooperative and ungodly


the team is.


i stood aside and watched from afar


all the commotion that is going on.


i dont whether whether


to cry


or


to laugh


for i see myself in the fools.


i cannot be calmed


nor be tamed


and ive just lost


one wave after another.


ive seen the amatuers and the wild


and know that ive been there too.


the past is a powerful weapon


it passes us off with feigned glory


and at times


pain and agony.


maybe its tiem to take solace in something present


new


and


larger than life.


only thing is,


what?


superficiality may not be a bad thing


at least it makes us appreciative of the hidden and unshown.


normally, the one who truely understands


isnt the one whom one wants.


what a great pity.


i have found neither.


just dreams, illusions and pure imagination


simply to alleviate the grief.


the past 7 hours was spent in bed


skipping the bath and the meal.


told you my whole chronos is all jumbled up.


but i do not feel rejuvinated nor reinvigorated


i simply smell a sense of impending doom


and the nolstalgic wave of emotions


complete with a hint of despair and contempt.


no one has yet to answer the call.

wahahahaha

new blog skin

lol

went for maf just now

not bad lar

kinda interesting

but not as high n fun as i hoped it to be.

somehow im always feeling

that

theres something missing in hwachong

but i just dont know what.

guess its the xin ling shang de kong xu.

met jac, the super long

today.

still as long as ever.

though with the noisy and commotion around

i just cant seem to immerse into the atmosphere.

just feels

not there.

hahaz

i need something to fill me up

i deleted the folder.

along with all the files.

ill decide to throw my drawer away the next time.

im starting to resent.

ill walk on,

without burden,

without fears,

without laden shoulders.

im walking on

without you.

i have never been so focused

so clear of what i what before.

all a product of the mighty dreams

i guess.

ill never say yes

or no

again

ill just leave notes

of tale and wonder.

ill leave them to be deciphered

to be carried away with the wind,

to be buried amongst the fallen leaves.

ive never felt so sane

so tranquil.

ill release myself of all anger

and blood.

but it sounds so contridictory.

the opposite will just come flowing back

in due time.

i guess

ill never be able to stand on either ground.

not today,

not tomorrow,

not ever.

it feels like theres so much

stuff ever bottled up within.

but my memorys so bad

i cant remember what.

maybe itll be best if everything just remain unturned.

but

when they really do get dug up one day,

the bitterness will linger

forever

and ever

and ever,

till the day i lie in peace.

i think

ive been criticising

and doubting

so much that ive lost track of the finer things in life,

of friends

of the soul

and the heart.

i guess im just self obsessed with what is right to me

and never about what is wrong to others.

too much of an idealist

too less of a thinker.

i claim to know of all the bad in the world.

but its starting to dawn upon me

that the biggest bad may be from within.

i should face the stars

and repent.

then maybe ill gain enlightenment

and earn myself a seat on the golden mat.

there are so many things that i wanna do,

though the main item on the list is doing practically nothign at all.

but time forbids.

and fate fortells of an impending crumple.

so if i do not raise the walls and the bridge,

i may not survive.

see

im forever stuck in time and my clampshell.

ive been talking so much that i can hardly focus

on what im saying.

there're too many I s

too little You s

and none of We s.

its october already.

so fast.

september ended.

now comes october.

soon november and december will pass me by.

and off i go to another crazy year

in 2007.

with a levels and stuff.

i wouldnt get much of a breather.

nvm.

on a lighter side,

the Muthustan Daily has reported another victorious exploit of

His Highness, Emperor Muthu, King of the Great.

Here goes the article.

"The current standings of the Kingdom of Muthustan are as follows:

Current population of the Kingdom stands at 11

also and still not including the thousands of sheep and cows that roam the green pastures.

In alphabetical order:
Royal Abbot, Liao Xin Wei
Royal Chef, Chi Yu Tse
Royal Gardener 1st Class, Cephas Yee Xiang
Royal Jester, Yap Jia Wei Bryan
Royal King Kong 1st Class, Lee Yue Kai
Royal Maiden 2nd Class, Liew Hui Ting Lynette
Royal Monkey 1st Class, Ng Pei Yi Audrey
Royal Musician 1st Class, Koh Yan Min
Royal Persian Carpet, Tan Jit How Benjamin
Royal Potty Warmer 2nd Class, Shawn Tan Ah Beng

Congratulations to the following royal subjects on their promotions to the next higher rank:

Royal Monkey, Ng Pei Yi Audrey (Reinstated)
Royal Musician, Koh Yan Min (1st Class)

These wise good ole' folks have intelligently decided to accept the citizenship of The Kingdom, extended under the royal decree of His Highness. Congratulations.

Royal Chef, Chi Yu Tse (Status: Confirmed)
Royal Garder 1st Class, Cephas Yee Xiang
Royal King Kong, Lee Yue Kai

Welcome to the royal family!

On the other hand, the following royal subjects incurred the wrath of His Highness and have thereby been demoted for an indefinite amount of time.

Royal Maiden 2nd Class, Liew Hui Ting Lynette
Royal Potty Warmer 2nd Class, Shawn Tan Ah Beng ( Utterly Disappointing!)

His Highness reserves all right to reinstate or maintain the status quo. In addition, His Highness has announced 27 October to be hailed as the founding day of Muthustan. His Highness has kindly extended his invitaion to all subjects royal and alike to the Banquet as a sign of goodwill and appreciation to all his royal subjects, cows and sheep that roam the green pastures."


_____________________________________________
haish

back to maths.